#Baby names I love but won’t be using!

I have absolutely loved watching lots of videos with this tag recently so I thought I would do mine!

We don’t plan on having anymore children so this is my list of favourite boys and girls names that we loved but didn’t choose from when we were expecting our last little baby.


I put this name on the list after getting into the TV show Zoo. I just heard it on there and loved it – I’m also a big Wolverine fan. I think it was our number two on the boys list this time.


I loved Freddie, I thought it was really cute especially for when he was little, but hubby didn’t agree 😦


Now this one is a bit out there and I’d had it on the list since we knew Roo was going to be a boy. This time round hubby still wasn’t having it as a first name, but I very nearly convinced him to use it as the littlest’s middle name. Sadly he changed his mind!

Finally on our boys list is,


This is sadly another name that we couldn’t agree on. I love the character in The Originals and I think it sounds really nice. The only thing that put me off was if it was shortened to Eli which I’m not as keen on.

I have always found girls names so much easier to think of than boys and I’ve always found we have looked at more traditional names than with the boys. So here are the four girls names we loved but sadly couldn’t use as we had a beautiful baby boy,


This is the name we would have given the littlest if he had been a girl. I loved it when we knew Rabbit was a girl but strangely didn’t choose it. I love the shortened version of Izzy as well. I think it’s a name that can work for any age.


This would have been the middle name we chose for Isabelle. I think it’s really pretty.


For all three children this has been on the list. It has been narrowed down by both me and hubby but has never quite made it to the top. I like the sound of it but luckily we didn’t choose it for Rabbit as she ended up having a friend at nursery with the same name.


This has also been on all three lists but sadly hubby has vetoed it every time. I’ve always loved the way it’s spelt.

So that completes my list of baby names I love but won’t be using! What are yours?



Where am I going wrong?!

As I sit here I feel like I could burst into a pool of tears. The calm has finally just descended on an enormous tantrum from my 7 year old to which he was that mad he was shaking. This happens on a regular basis and while he seems to be able to clear the mist and move on, I often find myself left with nerves of jelly. I don’t know where I’m going wrong with my children, specifically the 7 year old. I feel like I do nothing but love and care for him, he is not spoilt and I thought I set clear boundaries, yet he is constantly ignoring me and pushing his limits. My 5 year old has her moments but she very rarely acts out like he does. He has anger inside him, he has for a few years and when it rears its head it often rips mine straight off. He shouts, screams, slams the doors, throws anything within reach, has several times attacked me physically, and nothing can get through to him. The only thing I haven’t faced (thank goodness) is him swearing to my face.

Tonight it all kicked off because we said they could go to the park after school, it was sunny but not too warm and we thought it would be a nice treat. We had to stop off home, and instead of getting changed like I asked him he decided to kick off and was then physical with his sister so inevitably the park got put on hold. In his rage he then started demanding to watch the TV on or to go on the computer. Now we have a ‘strict’ rota in place so there are no arguments over the telly but one thing we say is nothing on a Wednesday, and they are encouraged to play instead, but tonight he wasn’t having it. So I found myself saying the classic “If you don’t play with your toys they are going in the bin, and you won’t be getting anymore next Christmas”. But it suddenly hit me, why should I get rid of the things I want him to play with, when I should be confiscating the technology instead!

I had a friend at school who didn’t own a TV. I used to think it was really odd that she didn’t but now I’m a mum it totally makes sense. She was well read, had a wicked imagination and was never bored. She had been bought up to entertain herself not rely on technology to do it and I can’t help but feel that it’s ruining my children’s childhood. I wish it was just my decision but I can’t imagine my husband agreeing to such cave man ideas.

As for the anger I am seriously considering seeking help. I know it is probably ‘just his age’, but I don’t know how long I can continue to accept this behaviour. He is rude, ignorant and down-right nasty for no reason sometimes. He can be the sweetest boy in the world but I feel like this demon is just taking over all the time. I worry for his future, especially at school. He is going to have such a shock when he gets to secondary school. He walks all over me and clashes with his dad. I just hope if I could get him to see a counsellor of some sort that he would have someone to talk to because he won’t talk to us. I tried to talk to him earlier about how he could play making an assault course in the garden for his Lego car and all I got was the response “it’s a pull-back car, d’ya think its remote control huh? do ya? NO!” …Who am I bringing up…



So I’ve been a bit busy…

Hi all!

If you have wondered where I’ve been, well, we had a baby!!!

Jaxon was finally born on Thursday 23rd February at 41 weeks and… I had a spontaneous labour! For those who don’t know this is a major win for me. After Rabbit and Roo both having to be induced, I had literally booked in just so I could focus on an end date. I didn’t actually expect to go into labour on my own and so when my waters broke it was quite a shock! (luckily I was in the lounge not the supermarket!)

The other headline is I got my home water birth YAY! I think hubby was starting to panic that we wouldn’t get to use the pool we hired. I very nearly didn’t, this labour was 3.5 hours from start to finish and it took so long to fill the pool, by the time it was ready I was already starting to push. Pretty much the same with ordering the gas and air, my lovely midwife really wasn’t ready for me to progress that quickly and I think if I hadn’t put my foot down when I did it may never have turned up before our little boy did. Looking back I did most of it without anything and so although it hurt like hell at the time, I’m now quite proud at getting through it.

He ended up weighing 9lb 1oz so he wasn’t exactly a small baby to give birth to! I was very lucky and got away without any tears and I even got my wish to get rid of the placenta naturally (the less injections the better I say) – it was huge! So it totally makes sense as to why I was so big this time round. If anything caught me by surprise it was the after pains. I don’t remember having them with Roo and I think that’s because I’ve read they get worse the more children you have. I now know that’s what they were when I had Rabbit. I was suddenly in a lot of pain after she was born and I panicked because I didn’t know what they were or to expect them, but also the midwives didn’t really help. They didn’t explain that it’s normal or try and calm me down so looking back it’s no wonder I freaked out. All I can explain them as is like a second wave of contractions – which makes sense as it is your uterus contracting back down, but my gosh, third child, they hurt as much as the labour!


He is already 10 days old and I can’t believe how easily he has fitted into our family, it’s like he has always been here. His brother and sister both adore him and although we are losing some sleep I think he is doing really well.

I am so over the moon and in love with our little Jax, I know that I won’t have anymore children and in that respect he really has made it feel like our family is complete. I am soaking up every ounce of the newborn stage because I know he will grow so fast.

xXx For all your new adventures my darling, I wish you luck, love and happiness xXx




Due date this week!!

Sorry I didn’t realise it had been that long since I last wrote. That means I have been off work four weeks this week and it’s gone quick. I wish I could say it had been an eventful four weeks but unfortunately not. 

Excitingly this week marks our due date (on the 16th!) so currently as I write this I am 39 weeks and 6 days. Last time I wrote I said about having sweeps from 39+3 but the midwife I saw at 38 weeks (yet another one) said she wouldn’t recommend starting them until 40 weeks at the earliest. So I am still waiting and hoping it will get things going over the weekend.

I’ve read so many other mums in my February birth forum who have had their babies early or are having long periods of irregular contractions, that I am starting to feel left out. But I’m trying to stay positive, enjoy every minute I’m not in pain and just keep remembering that in another 4 weeks he will definitely be here as I can’t go far over 14 days before being induced. This is one thing we want to avoid not least because I hated it last time but also we’ve hired the pool which has to go back in two weeks if I have to be induced. 😦 

In myself at the moment I am finding it increasingly uncomfortable to walk too far and even just picking the kids up from school, having driven half way there, feels like the baby is about to fall out at any moment. His kicks are so strong sometimes they really hurt. And sometimes I feel like my waters could go at any minute but alas they don’t. 

I’m just keeping everything crossed (except my legs haha!) that the sweeps will be successful and we can have a little bundle delivered next week 🙂 

Who knows next time I write I may have someone to introduce you to!


36 weeks, midwife chat and we’re getting the pool!!

Tomorrow marks 36 weeks of pregnancy and the end of work. Can’t say I am not a tad relieved – I have found the last couple of weeks really hard on my back 😦

I saw the midwife on Monday, she visited the house to go through all the finer details as we are still on track for our home birth. I just hope that it goes to plan and I don’t need inducing like the last two times. She discussed having multiple sweeps (oh the fun!) from about 39 weeks and 3 days, which should hopefully get things going before I reach 42 weeks.

The exciting moment this week was booking the birthing pool. With financial circumstances lately I was beginning to worry we wouldn’t be able to afford it, but it’s all booked and due for delivery on Wednesday!

It is an enormous relief just to know it will be there if I need it. Although labour is never truly pain free, I cannot explain how much the warm water helps. It’s relaxing, it’s a natural pain reliever and it softens all the important parts 😉

I have been trying to listen to my iHypnoBirth app every night this week, I seem to like listening to it as I lie down in the dark. It almost always sends me to sleep but I’m hoping that is a good thing as it should train my brain to relax when I hear it – although I’ll doubt I’ll be able to sleep through the pain!

We bought the Isofix base for the car seat two weeks ago, which will be a great help – If you’ve never used one they are such a time saver, just click in and go no faffing about with twisted seat belts.

So as we are into the last month now I realise I need to get my hospital bag in order, however this time will be interesting as I am hoping not to have to go in. I also don’t have enough stuff to have two sets of items and so I decided to use a big perspex storage box without a lid to put everything in that I’ll need for the birth, during and after. Then to leave the bag or case next to it so that in an emergency everything can be thrown in and off we go.  I’m using the list off the Baby Centre app. I didn’t realise how many were out there. But I’ve also found it interesting to watch some of the Channel Mums show what they had in theirs on You Tube.

It’s at this time now that I start to wonder, will he come early or late? One thing I do feel is although I’m really excited to meet him, I’m not ready for an appearance just yet.

Hopefully he will wait a couple of weeks at least…



10 weeks to go – positive thinking!


This week I hit 30 weeks yay! I have felt although this last ten weeks has gone so quick it’s always nice to hit a round number again- especially as the next one will be 40!

It really has picked up speed in the last couple of weeks, I generally felt like this pregnancy has been going so slow but I think with all the Christmas preparation, uni work and work commitments, time is finally flying.



Since my last post, I have felt my hips have improved a lot. I’m not as restless at night, although that could change as he begins his last few months of growing. However the one thing I’ve noticed is the tiredness. I think I’m more tired now than I was in the first trimester and it is wiping me out. Every night I’m ready to fall asleep on the sofa about half 8 which is making it really hard to get through my evenings of studying. I’m also really struggling at work. I get to about 3 o’clock and I’ve got no energy left. Late nights are starting to be so hard, and I’ve still got two before I leave in January.

I would say the heartburn hasn’t really increased, which is good, but it’s still an occasional problem. This time around I feel like I’ve had loads of Braxton Hicks contractions. I don’t remember getting any with the other two, but they are at least a couple of times a day since about 22 weeks this time around. They’re not painful, but I’ve had the odd one which has taken my breath away for a second – it happens a lot when I’m driving the car weirdly.

Looking forward to the birth more and I’ve started to have dreams about him being here, but I have a lot going on before then – Christmas, my son’s birthday, my birthday (which will be a none event this year!) and I’ve still got quite a bit to buy for the baby.

Still no changes to the plan to home birth. It will now all depend on if I can make myself go into labour. So lots of positive thinking as although it’s 7 weeks until I’m full term I could well go on for another 5 more if he’s like the last two.

I printed out my birth plan and got my husband to read though it. He’s very blase but I keep trying to tell him I won’t be in the position to action anything if I’m in a lot of pain, he needs to be my voice.

My son was very cute the other day and was giving his brother lots of cuddles, I think it’s starting to dawn on him that there is a real life baby in there so he’s getting excited now, although my daughter thinks 12 weeks is still too long to wait. I agree, but at the same time, I’m not ready yet!






28 Weeks and GTT results!

Hello 3rd trimester!!!

Wow that has felt a long time coming, but somehow I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel. In fact I’m starting to get excited this week as I imagine holding such a precious little bundle again. I’m sure I’m in denial about shitty nappies and sleepless nights but let the ignorance continue until it becomes inevitable that’s what I say.

So this week is week 28, only 14 left to go (yes I’m adding 2 for comfort as I went over with Rabbit and Roo). I’ve also sorted out mat leave this week so am now on a mental countdown to finishing work as well. Jelly bean has been kicking a lot this week which is reassuring but I’m sure he’s grown again as I feel about to burst some days and can’t fathom how he can get any bigger, he won’t fit!

The end of this week I am having my first growth scan, which is kind of exciting too because I’ve never had one this late before so it will be interesting to see if I can see any more detail than last time. I will be having those every four weeks until the end now, so the next one could be just before Christmas!

I got my GTT results or should I say I didn’t – get a phone call that is, so I’m assuming all is well so yay! Still keeping my fingers crossed as that is now one less obstacle between me and the home birth. I wrote a draft birth plan this week, and it was hard. I was trying not to talk about hospital but I know it could be out of my hands in the end either through complication or induction.

I still don’t know what to do about the pool hire. I watched a birth video by one of the Channel Mums this week and it really bought it back to me how much pain you can be in, so it’s in my mind that I don’t want to not get it and then really regret it on the day because the pain is too much. On the other hand I listened to the positive affirmations on my hypnobirthing app as I got into bed the other night and practised my deep breathing. I sent myself to sleep so they must help. I also felt really calm in the total darkness so I think the least light in the room during labour the better for me – don’t think hubby will let me lie in the bed though…